Timehop can be both a blessing and a curse! Sometimes it reminds you of precious memories and sometimes, like today, it causes you to stop dead in your tracks and take inventory of what’s happening RIGHT NOW!
Today was the latter. You see, on September 17, 2016 I made a post of my current stats with the caption, “I am absolutely not content with this, but it’s where I am and nobody can fix this but me. I am determined to make the necessary changes to reach my goals.”
The moment I saw this I decided that today would be a great day to take new measurements to assess my progress over the last 3 years. If we’re being completely honest, I wanted to cry a little. I have gained weight and inches and I’m not even going to pretend that it’s the GAINZ! It was an eye opener. I’m not anywhere near where I was or where I legitimately thought I am. I took some updated pictures and I won’t lie- I wanted, like REALLY wanted to work the angles, flex everything I could so that I wouldn’t APPEAR as bad off as I felt. I was starting to let the negative hateful voice get louder, but then I noticed it…the sticker firmly attached to my mirror. My daily reminder. I am ENOUGH. I don’t have to look a certain way, be a certain weight, or hide my imperfections in order to love myself. Let’s be real, it hasn’t always been this way. I’ve hated myself, my body, my hair, my looks for far too long and it’s just been within the last few years that I’ve begun diving into myself and learning to love ME- just exactly the way I am. Sure, I want to improve, but I don’t have to hate myself to do that. I love myself enough to look at what’s happened over the past 3 years and acknowledge the incredibly emotional and hard and beautiful journey that I’ve been on. And you know what….it’s ok that I am exactly where I am now. I’m not at rock bottom which means my foundation is still solid, I’m not at the summit either, so that means I have mountains to climb-room to improve. I’m perfect in my imperfections, that’s what makes me human.
Here is where I currently stand-
I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to post these, because somewhere, somehow, THIS might give someone a little bit of hope. Hope that loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. Acknowledging where you’re falling short without beating yourself up has been a huge lesson for me. I’m a work in progress. Sometimes you have to fail, and I see this as failing forward!
My wish is that every woman learns to love herself exactly as she is, even if there are things she wants to work on in her life! Never stop learning and growing y’all! It’s a life changer!